Lazy Sloth

That's me, a lazy sloth.  I have been endowed with the gift of not wanting to exert energy, ever.  Well, that's a lie, whenever something directly benefits me, I'll do it within a hop, skip n' jump. Bake a cake?  Surely, I'll do that 'cause I can eat it.  Take pictures and video of others?  Absolutely, I may be taking pictures of you but honestly, I make the videos for self-praise.  When it comes to working at Hallmark I avoid tasks at all costs.  I got asked to stock a crap-load of cards one day... like a good lil' associate I took the cards and walked behind one of the aisles to begin to put the cards in their respective slots.  One minute leaks by, another slowly passes ... I shoved the box of friendly greetings underneath the card-rung where extra stock is held.  No one ever knew that it was me.  For the rest of the day I stood in the back corner and texted.  Shortcuts, I find 'em, I take 'em.  

That will be changed from here on out.

Last night I had a shift from 5 to 9 with Kathy, a full time woman of whom I have never thought held the highest respects for moi. Just Kathy and I, me and Krazy Kath, the K-Dawg. What's a girl to do, no witty banter to be had, no chit chat to partake in, just Kathy.  :(  I walked between the knick-knacks and porcelain Christmas figurines as I was greeted by the golden girl herself, "Heeey, Jessie Girl!"  Har-dee-har.  I settled my purse into an empty locker and grabbed my smock as I braced myself for the slowest night of my life.  Counting.  I had to count all of the discounted Christmas SHIT that Hallmark calls quality product.  As Kathy gave my assignment I felt a sudden urge.  An unsettling urge to punch her square in the jaw, grab her nearly full can of crisp Coca-Cola and bolt for the parking lot. ... ... ...  I didn't.  Nine inventory sheets and thousands of dollars later (2 1/2 hours), my task was finished.  I had tallied the Discounted Christmas Shit.  A sense of relief filtered through my body; I hadn't cheated my assignment at all and I had accomplished a major task.  What was this emotion that I suddenly felt?  Pride!  I skipped to the register and handed the clipboard over to Kathy.  Satisfied, I slid around the counter and struck up a conversation. An enjoyable one at that!  She even shared with me a few pearls of wisdom about life.  Finishing my work in a timely matter not only made me proud of myself but it allowed me to enjoy the rest of the night with the woman that I swore I could never like.  It's sort of a chain reaction really.  I eliminated the task at hand and it left me in a better mood, rather than procrastinating and being stuck counting ridiculous seasonal garb for the entire night.  

I am still proud of myself for the work I did last night and am sort of looking forward to the same shift that I hold tonight.  Lazy sloth no more!